You know those little toy mice you get at the store, the ones you toss for your cat to chase? After a little while, you have to get something long and skinny to scrape them all out from underneath your furniture, right? (I use a long wooden back scratcher.) Well, I had tossed all of them that I had, so I was collecting them from under the television table, the couch, and the china hutch. Dozens of them.

I’d saved the china hutch for last, because I keep them all in a drawer in that piece. And I was using that back scratcher to reach all the way under, sweep to the side (as you do), then pull everything out. On my third swipe, one of those little toy mice jumped up and ran across my hand. I mean, I could seriously feel his tiny little feet scrabbling across the back of my left hand. And yes, I screamed like a girl. (No, I did not see where he went–I was too busy screaming like a girl and doing my “I saw a mouse” dance. It’s very similar to my “I saw a spider” dance, but louder: after the initial shriek of seeing a spider, I’m absolutely quiet–don’t want that sucker to know where I am so he can jump on me, do I?)

When I finally settled down, l looked at Sammy (who was absolutely stunned that I didn’t scamper after that mouse and catch it). Apparently, that sweet boy had brought the mouse in through his brand-new cat door–you know, so that I’d learn how to hunt properly. And it wasn’t the first mouse he’d ever brought in, either–his score was two mice, two lizards, a snake, and two frogs before I finally decided how to stop him. And yes, they were all alive when I found them. I’m certain he was very disappointed in Mama’s hunting capabilities. (He also brought in a dead mouse once, but I’m thinking that was for him. Yuck.)

How was he getting all this wildlife in, you might ask? Well, a neighbor had kindly installed a cat door for me–it led from my dining room to the upstairs landing on my deck.

And how exactly was I going to get him to stop bringing in all this wildlife? I didn’t want to just block his door–it was nice not having to get up to let him out all the time. (It was especially nice not having to get up to let him play “Will he or won’t he?”, a favorite game for all cats, as you probably know.) But that snake was the last straw, so to speak. I had to come up with something that would block him from bringing little critters in the house. And there are all kinds of cat doors on the market, some that even claim to be able to detect the critters and lock the door. But who can afford those things?

Finally I decided that the only way to keep him from bringing stuff in was to check his mouth every single time he came in. This, of course, was not going to happen if he still had his cat door to come in whenever he wanted. So what to do?My first solution was to put a very loud bell on his collar–if the prey could hear him, then he wouldn’t catch them, right? Wrong. It slowed him down, but he’s a very persistent cat.

Some more (extremely slow) thinking on my part, and I finally had the answer…

I measured the size of the cat door opening, then ordered another door just slightly larger than that opening. I left the inside flap of the original one where it was, but removed the outer flap. I then installed the larger outer flap on the outside of my home, so it would open outward, but not inward. Sammy still uses his cat door to go outside whenever he wants, but he cannot come back in unless I let him in a human-sized door. This has the added benefit of my being able to check his mouth for “gifts.” (Yes, I still have to get up to let him come back inside, but I’m still only doing that half as often as when I was his door-opener for both inside and outside.)

Altering the cat door actually resolved another problem I’d had–I was worried to pieces that larger wildlife, like raccoons, might visit me some night while I was sleeping. I was able to reassure myself that that would not happen–the smell of cat and people near the flap would keep away ‘coons, right? At least that’s what I told myself. Then I had this awful dream where I woke up to find a wild raccoon on my chest, nose-to-nose with me. I was terrified when I woke up. But even then I was able to persuade myself that it wouldn’t actually happen.

That all changed the night I heard SamSam coming in his door (before I fixed it). He seemed to be having more trouble than usual, patting at the flap repeatedly before getting his head in. By the time he was inside, I’d gotten up and put my glasses on to see what the problem was–and I spotted my Sammy sitting quietly under the dining room table, watching the activity at the cat door. I turned to the door just in time to see a beautiful stray cat (that I assumed to be his girlfriend) come gingerly into the room, where she sat and stared at Sammy. What?! I made a move toward her and she high-tailed it out of there. She visited one other time, too, before I changed the outside flap on his door.

(This is a photo of his girlfriend. She came up to the front porch, just checking things out, I think, and I was able to get this photo. I told SamSam privately later on that if he wants her to be part of our household, it’s fine with me. But when she showed up again with the obvious intent of getting in the house, he kept pace with her as she walked up and down the front porch. I was standing in the open doorway, and she was trying to sneak past him and into the house. I don’t know if he was protecting his hooman, or if he wasn’t about to give up being an Only. Isn’t she beautiful?!)